At some point you may find that it’s time to talk to your elderly family member about giving up driving for good. It’s a conversation that might not go the way you expect it to go.
This Is Not Easy for Her
As a licensed driver, your senior has a certain level of independence and mobility that may be difficult for her to experience in other ways. She may equate her ability to drive with her ability to maintain her independence on many other levels, too. It’s not easy to talk about having to give up her ability to drive, even if she knows that she’s no longer a safe driver.
Safety Is the Key Component
You may feel uncomfortable with your senior’s driving, but that doesn’t mean that she’s an unsafe driver necessarily. Lots of people feel uncomfortable with other people driving, so it’s important that you focus on the big issue here, which is safety. Your entire argument against your senior continuing to drive must be rooted in legitimate concerns about her safety. If you’re just saying that you want her safe without providing examples, she’s not going to trust you in the future.
Gather Some Examples
Now is when you need to do some observing and some example gathering. Watch how your senior drives. If she’s changing lanes without looking, speeding, or engaging in other unsafe habits behind the wheel, that’s part of the list. You might also want to start paying attention to damage on the car or more obscure data, such as increasing insurance rates because of tickets or wrecks.
Don’t Leave Her Stranded
You can’t take your senior’s keys away and then leave her stranded at home. This isn’t about isolating her or removing her ability to get where she needs to go. You need to go into this conversation with other options, such as hiring elder care providers who drive for your senior. Other options might also be available, especially if your area has public transportation options for seniors.
Stick with the Topic
If your elderly family member is really unhappy about this topic, she may shut you down. It’s not a topic that just goes away, however. You need to be consistent about sticking with this topic until you get to a solution that works well for both you and your aging adult.
This may be a gradual process rather than a one-time conversation that solves all the dilemmas. You may find that compromise helps you and your aging adult to each get what you need and what you want from this discussion.
Excerpt: When it’s time to talk to your elderly family member about her driving, the conversation may be more difficult than you think.
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